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My Momma Is…
01
May
A writer, an artist, a dreamer. A silly sally who maintains childhood persuasions. A believer of mystical things. Someone who laughed harder than I have ever seen a person laugh while watching The Gods Must Be Crazy. The kind of person toe socks were invented for. A cultivator of laughter. Often the hysterical kind. A listener. A true and trusted friend. A free spirit.
Happy birthday, Momma. I love you and your great big young heart.
Dance Interlude – Grouplove
30
Apr
So, I’ve Shazamed this song three separate times to remind myself to remember it. And I’m as giddy from the remembering as the song makes me. #olderthandirt
I freaking love it. And the vid. It actually makes me want to be young and drunk at a house party even though I know now those never go down the way you want them to. Youth, all promise and shit.
Take a Valium Like a Normal Person
27
Apr
Oh, how I love Madonna. In every one of her evolutions. But most completely especially in her big black bow, rubber bracelets up to here, bedhead, sex-kitten-kewpie-doll, Desperately Seeking Susan days. I re-watched the movie the other day and it was so quintessentially what I wanted out of life as a troubled 16 year old on the brink of alternative life. Adventure, intrigue, skinny dudes with weird jobs and a little magic. Still sounds pretty good to a 42 year old mom in the ‘burbs.
Wordless Wednesday – Tiptoeing
25
Apr
So many more fabulous photos over at Wordless Wednesday. Go get ‘em!
I Would Write 500 Posts
24
Apr
I have been blogging just short of 500 days. 479 if you want to be all particular. And somehow I’ve managed to make it all the way to my 500th post. Which seems sort of monumental. Whether or not my reach, my influence or even my words are monumental, that volume of work is. To me, at least.
In honor of that great, big, fat, round number here’s me by the numbers.
45 places I have lived 12 states I have called home 8 years in and out of the cult where I was raised 2 psych hospitalizations 3 diagnoses 2 misdiagnoses 11 medications tried over 27 years 1 rehab 16 years sober 20 years of smoking 16 years smoke free 3 pregnancies 1 baby 4 comics on my pull list 23 comics at my highest point 2 books I’m currently reading on Goodreads.com 2 books that are sitting on my couch waiting to be devoured 0 books actually being read 30 pounds I want to lose 12 Cadbury mini eggs that I allow myself per day for 5 points 42 years and counting 0 fucks I give about getting older 3 is the magic number of Trifecta 2 is the number of Trifectas I won uncountable is the number of times using balls out in an average day, which is equal only to the number of times me finding it funny 500 posts written 1 dream come true
And I will write 500 more.
Dose of Happy – Drunk on the Shine
23
Apr
Over at Band Back Together we’re feeling like we want to junk punch the next person who asks us if we have a case of the Mondays. So instead of doing the time in the resulting anger management program, we decided to take Monday back. So we’re linking up our Dose of Happy posts and bringing the awesome back to Mondays. You can play too. Now get your happy on.
Some shit is going down in the great state of Oregon. Some shit that hasn’t gone down in quite some time. It’s sunshine, y’all and it’s rocking the world of every single person it town. And as if it’s not enough happy just to be drunk on the ‘shine, I actually got to go to the Tulip Festival this weekend with my lovely Band friend, Shevaun, and her gorgeous and gorgeously behaved daughter. That’s her up there with my punk. What’s better than sun, friends, kids and an almost mind altering display of color in flower form? Um yeah, that’s right. Nothing.
But wait, there’s more. I am now completing the trifecta of editors over at Trifecta. Pretty sure I bamboozled or possibly hoodwinked them into believing I could hold off on mah swing speak(Karen‘s awesome word for the nonsense I hurl at the page) long enough to leave comments without using the words balls out or awesomesauce on toast. I may run out of words on the quick fast and need to spend some time with the old thesaurus.
Whatever happens, it’s gonna be epic. Holla at yer gurl, yo. Well, in the form of a submission to one of our challenges anyway. Like this week’s challenge. The word is confidence, third definition. 33 to 33 words. You can doo eet. So doo eet.
I Can’t Pretend. It Happened.
20
Apr
Look what came in the mail today? Guess which one I will be reading first?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m ready to get my literary discussion on, yo. But it’s Jenny. From the block. No, not that one. You know? The block in rural West Texas. The one lined with giant metal chickens, cardboard TARDIS’(TARDII?), anguished weasels and weary husbands answering the tough questions like, For the love of all the gods, have you taken your meds today?
You can buy it on Amazon, at BN, at Target or on itunes. Probably a ton of other places. Buy one now, buy another tomorrow. Your BFF would surely love a copy. So would yer mom. Just sayin. Buy the shit. Chick is funny. Also, a shimmery, sparkly ball of all around wonder and delight.
If you’re lucky enough to be in Cali, Texas or Florida you better get your buns on over to the tour, hon. This is not to be missed. Except by me, because I live in stupid Portland and poorly planned my trip home to Texas. Jk Ptown, I love you. Not right now because of all the rain and the lack of the Bloggess, but we’ll find our way back.
One last plea for adding Portland to the tour, Jenny. We want to keep it weird and think you are up for the job. Also, I hereby promise you a Voodoo Doll or Cock and Balls doughnut from Voodoo Doughnut if you do. And the key to the city. Or just this key that I found in the back of my car. I think it was from a few houses ago. Don’t want to let go of it though because you never know when it could be the KEY TO THE CITY. And it could be all yours. I’ll leave the light on for you, just in case. Let me know soon though because my electric bill’s already pretty high and I can’t just be leaving lights on all over the place. But for you, I will.
Bee tee dubbenstein, this has in no way been a paid advert for anyone or anywho. Nor for anywhich or anywhere. It has, however, been an unpaid advert for People for Better Trip Planning and The Bloggess is Freakballs Amazesauce, sponsored by Me, Myself and I.
