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Friday Fluff – The Totality Of The Random

20 Jan

What badass mamajama started the Friday Fluff craze that’s sweeping the nation?  Lisa from Seeking Elevation, that’s who.  Read her often hilarious, totally irreverent and always honest replies to surveys posted to Quizopolis.com.  And join in.  I double dog dare ya.

This week’s survey was created by:  bonkadonks92

flowers, purple, painting, simple, canvas - Purple Flowers II

Art by elisaann

Hola como estas?

 

Siéntete.  Vamanos.  Queso.  Por favor.  Guacamole.  Culo.  Puta.

Aced Spanish I and that’s all I got.

 

What are you obsessed with?

Handjobs. 

What do you dip your chicken nuggets in?

I don’t eat nuggets.  I eat Gardein crispy tenders.  And I would drown those fuckers in ranch were I not currently in the grips of the Watchers of the Weight.  Or Mae Ploy sauce.  

Semi-related, Bubs dips his berries in ketchup.  Grody.  To the max, yo.

What was the last road trip you went on?

From Houston to Denton, TX with my dad and my kid.  I know how to party, y’all.  You know what rocked my socks on this trip? The freaking rest stop.  #blewmeaway  We’re currently saving up our nickels and dimes for a trip back.  Feel free to donate.

Large, heated common area with vending machines and wifi.  Even a table with plugin to work on your lappie.  And only one completely clean, but a little bit jumpy, ‘working gal’.

The nicest, cleanest, most sumptuous bathroom ever to grace a rest area.  Complete with real mirrors, working hand dryers AND soap(not that powdered pink shit from days gone by).  There was even a person there cleaning the already pristine room.

A motherfucking playground.  With that springy, bouncy stuff as flooring.  You know the stuff you step on and your whole body cries in relief from the aches and pains you weren’t even aware you had until they were gone?  Also, three separate, covered eating areas.  And a paved 1/2 mile walking path.

That how Texas do.

 

When’s the last time you dance with someone?

I danced with Bubs today.  Other than that, it’s been a looong time.  I don’t dance like no one’s watching when I know they’re fucking watching.  Or if I think they might be able to.

What’s your favorite show?

I have to choose?  What are the parameters?  Like favorite show EVER?  Or favorite current show?  Oh shit, we could be here all week.  Too much pressure.  Favorites include, but are not limited to, House, Simpsons, Parks and Rec, Northern Exposure, Shameless.

If you could visit anywhere, where would you visit?

Hong Kong.  I’ve never been and I hear they have some killer dragonfruit.  

What’s your ringtone?

Do people still have ringtones?  It  just seems so 2003.  I had the Muppets theme back then.  Now it’s always on vibrate.  Because things that vibrate are awesome.

What’s the wallpaper on your cell phone?

I love that he looks like a tiny Hare Krishna advertising Fiber One bars, but not happy at all about it.

Who is the 6th text message in yur inbox from?

One of my nearest and dearest.  My sister from another mister.  The keeper of secrets, the toddler and teenage tamer, the girl who’s just as fly as any white guy.  Also, a self-proclaimed lady in the streets and freak in the bed.  

Go to your pictures…what is the 33rd pic of?

Y’all.  I have 1,900 pictures on my phone.  This was around 6 months.  The kid is almost three.  Send tech help now plz.  But omg, srsly kewt.

Whose your 78th contact in your phone?

BFF Cell.  No freaking lie.  That’s kismet or some shit.  

Whose your favorite character from The Office?

Teevee favorites are hard.  *whiny voice*  *stamps foot*  Kevin or Jim.  

Have you seen every episode starting from Season 1?

Yes.  I jumped on the bandwagon late, but with both feet and guns blazing.  Fully submerged through DVD, which is really the way to go.  ONE MORE.  

What color is your hair?

Bray.

Favorite quote?

Everyday I’m hustlin’.  Word, life

What kind of car do you have?

Honda CR-V.  Green, full of kid related shit, dirty as fuck.  My husband calls it a shitbox.

What makes you laugh?

My husband.  Lisa.  The New Girl.  Eddie Izzard.  The Bloggess.  Mitch Hedberg.  This chick.  Dr. Katz.  

This guy.

Whats the last movie you saw in theatres?

I just saw Contraband with my bestie on $5 Tuesday.  It was decent enough for an action movie, but the goddamn camera work made me physically ill halfway in.  So I spent the second half, pukey and freezing(wtf, Regal Cinema?  A/C in freaking January?) and listening to the movie rather than watching it.  I blame Marky Mark.  For this and for SO much more.

If you could co-star in a movie with any actor/actress you would it be?

The movie in which I make out with Ewan McGregor.  For several hours.

Whats your favorite article of clothing?

Are boots considered clothing?  Because my dad bought me some Uggs a few years ago and I wear them every.single.day in the fall/winter.  They are so warm and toasty.  My dad also bought me a Columbia coat for my birthday and it is freaking badass.  It is super thin, but has this silvery stuff on the inside that reflects back your body heat and keeps you all roasty toasty.  And, this is the best thing ever, it has these little holes in the sleeves to put your thumbs through so your hands stay warm too.  Genius. 

What were you doing on New Years?

Me and the husband watched Hot Fuzz and I fell asleep early.  I was awakened at 5 til midnight by his alarm and we watched the ball drop.  I hate New Year’s.  It’s so lame.  And the ball sucks ass.  

GASP! LOOK! WHAT’S BEHIND YOU?!

The five pillows stabilizing my head to hopefully ward off the insane tension pain I have been having recently.  Certainly not gasp worthy.

What are you looking forward too?

I’m looking forward to you figuring out which words actually go where.  And the Mayan apocalypse.  It’s been a full three months without rapture jokes.  I’m in withdrawal.   

Are you the life of the party?

I am not.

Finish this sentence…You are______

If you could meet Barack Obama, what would you ask him?

Boxers or briefs?

Pop Tarts or Toaster Struddles?

I can see the value in both, but haven’t had either in years.  I was moderately obsessed with Pop Tarts in the early 90′s.  But I was also obsessed with cocaine so I wouldn’t consider any of my decisions during that time period as particularly discerning.

Dark Chocolate or Milk Chocolate?

The darker the berry the sweeter the juice.  Chocolate comes from berries, right?

Truth or Dare?

Truth=life.

Do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Yikes.  No.

Your getting chased by the Easter Bunny! What do you do?!

Gank him and make fondue out of his stash.  He’s a fucking bunny.  C’mon. 

Whats in your junk drawer?

I don’t have so much a junk drawer as a junk basement.  And, believe you me, you do NOT want to know what’s in there.  *slowly backs away*

Whats something about you that no one knows?

Oh, okay, right.  Well, I once

What kinda phone do you have?

iphone 4.  Not the cool new one that has Tom Cruise’s daughter trapped inside.  Although I’d like to have that because have you read her Tumblr?  Bitch be funny, yo. 

Whats the wallpaper on your computer?

The Windows 7 default.  My husband finally updated me from the horrific Vista and I forgot all about wallpapering it.

Do you dance when nobody’s watching?

ONLY when no one’s watching.  Or when Bubs is watching.  He likes all my moves, no matter how awkward or ridic.

What’s your race?

I am a white woman trapped in the body of another white woman.  Help.

Whose your loudest friend?

My girl from the way back.  I call her Dre.  She IS the life of the party and a damn fine woman and friend.  She can get rowdy.  I love her.

When your having a party, who definitely has to be there?

My clan is small and spread across the globe.  So whichever of them happen to be in my corner of the world must attend.

Whats the best food combo?

Garlic, butter, pasta/bread

Cheese + pretty much anything

Ranch + almost anything

When you need someone to talk to, who do you go to?

I got a tribe, yo.  They live in my computer.  It’s working out pretty well so far.

Whats your favorite band(s)?

I dunno.  I love the Beatles, Otis, Erasure, Band of Horses, John Denver, Northern State.

What song do you want played at your funeral?

Your mom goes to college!

Balls out awesome!

 
 

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  1. Cindy

    January 20, 2012 at 6:52 am

    dear gawd, this shit is funmy. you slay me!

     
    • Lulo

      January 21, 2012 at 8:23 pm

      One of these days I want to hear YOUR answers. I know that shit would be hilarious:)

       
  2. Jessie Powell

    January 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    OK. That pirate song. Which horrid kids show was that from? So I can make sure my children never watch it? That pirate dude looked like a pedophile. I will never let my daughter go onscreen with someone who thinks that sailing and dancing to an electronic beat makes you a swashbuckler.

     
    • Lulo

      January 21, 2012 at 8:24 pm

      Lazy Town. And I can get behind any show that gives me 25 minutes of uninterrupted time:)

       
  3. Katie

    January 20, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Woa that is SOME rest stop! And a cutie kid baby and older! That sword stance/outfit combo is epic.

     
    • Lulo

      January 21, 2012 at 8:25 pm

      Yes, epic is exactly the right word:)

       
  4. Amelia

    January 20, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    WTF dude, 2 questions are missing on mine. It’s like myspace came back to haunt me!!
    This was awesome, also? As long as Marky Mark has his shirt off, I’ll watch the movie.

     
    • Lulo

      January 21, 2012 at 8:26 pm

      He DID take his shirt off! But I couldn’t watch because I was too busy almost hurling. Sad panda.

       
  5. b303tilly

    January 20, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    Thumb holes! We’re mildly obsessed with those over here.

     
    • Lulo

      January 21, 2012 at 8:27 pm

      ME TOO! I’ve never actually possessed any so I’m very! excited!

       
  6. seeking elevation

    January 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    I have so much to say. First–you took pictures of the rest stop. Second–come to hong kong. Third–Rilo is always eating a fiber bar. Fourth–Rilo as a baby is the cutest effing thing ever. And that’s all because I can’t count so good.

     
    • Lulo

      January 21, 2012 at 8:29 pm

      How could I NOT take pictures? Did you SEE that bathroom? And despite all the fiber bars, we still have an issue. The next step is ground up phone books.

       
  7. Shannon

    January 20, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    I use to love watching Northern Exposure. I wish reruns would come on for me to watch.

    The pirate song made me giggle and I just had to share it on Facebook!

     
 

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