lucidlotuslife

What badass mamajama started the Friday Fluff craze that’s sweeping the nation?  Lisa from Seeking Elevation, that’s who.  But the kickass Jester Queen is running this show today.  Jump on in, the water’s fine.

This week’s survey was created by:  Dani05

 Art by elisaann

Be a poison tester or suicide bomber?

Poison tester.  At least I’ve got a 50/50 chance of living.  And not being a total fucking douche.

Fat and short or fat and tall?

Like freakishly tall?  Because that.

Wet and cold or dry and hot?

I’m not really a fan of either, but it’s winter in Portland and I’d pay good American dollars for some dry heat right about now.

Vampire or a cat?

Is this a question?  Do I want to be a vampire or a cat?  Do I want to own a vampire or a cat?  Do I want to be eaten by a vampire or a cat?  Cat, vampire, cat.

Be george lopez or brad pitt?

Brad Pitt because his lady is so sexy.

Eat sand or dirt?

Dirt is less filling AND tastes great.

Be 30 or 1?

Years old?  You are so ambiguous.  I’ll take 30 for $1,000, Alex.

Pro skater boarder or singer?

I like me some skater boards, but I’d be a singer if I was gifted with a good voice and the balls to get up there and sang.

Eat metal or bugs?

Seeing as how I’m a vegetarian, metal.  Or seeing as how I’m a human, bugs.  Maybe I should just stick to booze and call it even, tequila worm negates Goldschlager flakes.

Be a monkey or wolf man?

You’re making me a little stabby, can we at least keep the inanity in one genre?  Like say, wolfman or vamp?  In your horrible scenario, wolfman.  Because:

a)I’ll be a man and finally suss out the actual awesome factor behind the whole stand up pee thing.

b)I’m already wild, meltdown hormone lady once a  month and I can’t really see much difference.  Other than the lusting for the taste of blood issue.

c)Monkeys enjoy throwing their own feces and, while I enjoy a good poop as much as the next gal, I like to leave it where I dropped it.

Work at google or bing?

What’s bing?

Make a board game or video game?

Now, I love a good board game.  That is some good, clean family fun right there.  Also, some good, clean adult fun if played the right way.  But the youth of today hardly even know what objects are if they’re not virtual.  I’d go where the money is – video.

Mini cooper or mustang?

Dead or alive?

I choose life.  I have ever since the early 80′s when Wham! informed me it was the way to go.  I’m sticking with that answer until I get further intel from George Michael.  I will also accept guidance from Andrew Ridgfield, provided he has notarized documentation that GM is also in agreement.

Singer or actor?

I cannot think of anything that I would NOT rather be than an actor.  This is, of course, excluding any and all professions that have anything to do with the handling or throwing of fecal matter.  Obvi.

End on a stupid question, get an awesome video.  Double fantastic win time for Y-O-U.  Welcome to my world.  Uhh…no.

http://youtu.be/hrnOCEXfdMo

What badass mamajama started the Friday Fluff craze that’s sweeping the nation?  Lisa from Seeking Elevation, that’s who.  Read her often hilarious, totally irreverent and always honest replies to surveys posted to Quizopolis.com.  And join in.  I double dog dare ya.

This week’s survey was created by:  eat_zombies

Art by elisaann

Do you think that gay marriage should be legal?

This is a non-question.  Of.fucking.course.

Do you think that gays should be allowed to seve in the military?

Seriously?  We are now post don’t ask, don’t tell.  Clearly the answer is yes.

What do you think about people who don’t believe in god?

I think they are a lot like me.  Or they’re not.  Some days, hours, minutes I believe and others I don’t.  I want to.  I desperately envy blind faith.  But envy does not a believer make.

Are you pro life or pro choice?

Yes.  Who exactly is anti-life?  But yes, I absolutely 100% believe in a woman’s right to choose what happens to her body.

Do you think we should test on animals?

I believe that cosmetic or psychological testing on animals is total bullshit.  I can’t actually even think about it too long or I’ll freak the fuck out.  But I do believe that humans should be valued above animals and will take whatever consequence is dealt to me should animals end up of having control of the afterlife.  If it’s necessary to potentially save human lives, then yes.

How do you feel about illegal immigration?

I don’t really have a strong opinion on it.  I am, however, a social worker and a party gal at heart.  I say, the more the merrier.

Do you think it is ethical to do stem cell research?

I not only think it’s ethical to do so, I think it’s ridiculous not to.  See animal testing reasoning above.

Should be get rid of the death penalty?

This is the most complicated issue, in my opinion.  I feel that the death penalty could actually be more humane and more of a crime deterrent, were it not such a long, drawn out procedure and a financial drain on the system.  I can’t even begin to imagine how you survive a lifetime in prison.  There is no hope, no end, no real life at that point.  So I think I’d choose to be zapped or shot up or whatever it is they do these days.

But, what happens if the person turns out to be innocent?  There’s no pardoning in the afterlife.  Or maybe that’s where the only true pardoning occurs.  I just blew your mind there, didn’t I?

How about giving them a choice?  Horrific, miserable life in prison or quick and painless death.  Do they get cake in prison?

Is torture ever acceptable?

Yes.  I think I must have become morally questionable as I grow more and more aged, and I certainly would not be capable of doing it myself, but I think the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one sometimes(thank you, Star Trek).  To save lives sometimes a little blood has to be shed.  Wow, I think I watched a little too much Homeland this year.

Should the government have a say on our diets?

What?  Hell no.  The government needs to back off.  Just because we happened to born in the USA, or have become naturalized citizens here, doesn’t mean that the government is our third parent.  They can set up laws that benefit the nation and the populace at large, but need to back up off of policing the individuals for habits and/or behaviors that aren’t harming anyone but the self.

When we turn 18 or 12 or 30 and leave our parent’s home, we become adults and as such earn the right to make whatever poor decisions we choose.  Smoking, drinking, gambling, department store credit.  WE get those choices, not Sam(dude’s not my uncle).  No matter how stupid or harmful they may be.

Should the alcoholic drinking age be increased or decreased?

I think they should decrease the drinking age and increase the driving age.  Meet in the middle-ish at 18?  Idiots are going to drink, regardless of the law.  Let’s stop worrying so much about minors under the influence and worry instead about any sort of dangerous activities related to substance use.  If the minor is drinking and driving, slap on the cuffs.  If he’s just sharing a brewski with his homies, back the fuck off.  Really, what difference does that three years make?  Kids are still idiots at 21.  Might as well let them legally prove it.

Should cigarette smoking be banned?

As a ex-smoker of 20 years, I say hell yeah.  I am always thrown by smokers these days.  I’m like, really?  People still smoke?  But, as that 20 year smoker, I’d often say you’ll have to pry these cigarettes from my cold, dead, cancer ridden hands.

Obviously no.  I support the right of the individual to do whatever stupid thing they want and that includes death by nicotine.  Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, just keep it away from me please.  And, if I love you, please stop smoking right now.  Please.