lucidlotuslife

My lovely friend, From Tracie, did this old style bloggy thang a week or so ago.  I meant to do it, like every other thing on my list, but got bogged down by the man(Ole Dirty D, that wily fuck).  Then another lovely, Tia, did it and I was like, oh snap, best be hopping on that train before it leaves the station.  All aboard, y’all.

1. What were you doing 10 Years Ago?

Ten years ago I was living in Brooklyn, NY, working as an adoption caseworker in the foster care system and going to school at NYU for my MSW.  I was also doing a lot of crying, moaning and wailing about how fucking tired I was and how much I had to do.  Now I’m a mom.  I laugh in the face of the tired of ten years ago.

2. What 5 things are on your to do list?

1. Order a ATT booster because our cell service is shite in our house
2. Workout because I ate not one, but two, batches of cake batter muddy buddies this weekend
3. Write something for the Argus
4. Laundry.  Always with the motherfucking laundry.
5. Pack up the no longer age appropriate toys.  I am a toy hoarder.  You never know when you’re gonna need nesting cups or 352 matchbox cars.

3. What are 5 snacks you enjoy?

1. Cake batter muddy buddies.  Seriously.  If you make them you will love and loathe me for life.  Use Wilton candy melts in place of white chocolate.  White chocolate is not chocolate.
2. Cadbury mini eggs.  This shit is unrivaled.
3. Russell Stover Red Velvet Eggs.  I require a case.
4. Brach’s butterscotch disks.  My Weight Watchers standby.  Three disks per point.  It’s old timey.  Like me.
5. Western Bagel’s Alternative Bagel in Roasted Onion and Eating Right’s garlic yummus hummus.  That’s a one point bagel, y’all.  In mah mouth.

4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire

Jesus fuck, all the things.

Buy a house with a yard and have playdates and theme parties every month.

This guy.

Pay off my reedonkulous student loans.

Buy my husband some super phat car and a home monitoring system ala Howard Hughes.

Send a camera crew and a sloth to Kristen Bell’s house.

Bali.  Fucking Bali.

5. Name some places you have lived

1. Rehab
2. Psychiatric hospital
3. Idaho
4. A kitchen.
5. The Biggest Loser ranch.

6. Name some bad habits you have

1. I am a horrible interrupter.  It’s so embarrassing.  I think I talk to actual people so rarely that I’m like a word volcano once I get started.
2. I eat too much sugar.  Like so much.
3. Procrastinator extraordinaire.
4. Toy hoarder

7. Name some jobs you have had 

1. Telemarketer
2. Dancer.  For money.
3. Foster care caseworker in Brooknam
4. Play therapist
5. Nanny