Spring in Ptown = the 9th circle of hell.  Or is it the 7th?  I never can keep them straight.  Gray skies and rain and migraines, oh my.  Somebody get me on a Greyhound outta here.  Maybe down the Hudson River line.  Maybe down the road to Hana.  But I’ll even take Cincinnati, if the sun is shining there.

I’ve been promised sunshine this week and if I don’t get it somebody’s gonna pay.  Most likely my husband who has the misfortune of being married to a sufferer of the lack of sun related DT’s.

In lieu of the ‘shine, I turn the volume to eleven and shake it like a Polaroid picture.

I don’t care.  I love it.

Week Seventy-Three

COLOR (noun)

The words she’d always longed to hear hung heavy in the empty air.  Bright disgrace slunk upward, branding her with color. Hearts aren’t just blind, they’re stupid.  Hers kept beating all the same.

Week Sixty-Two Challenge:

We want you to give us thirty-three words of advice.  Your advice can be to anyone or about anything.  We only ask that you make it uniquely yours.

Spread your toes into the sweet, dark earth and dig deep.  Let your fingers trail, untethered, across all that the wide, wild world, and whatever lies beyond, has to offer.  Make it yours.

If you haven’t watched the last episode of The Walking Dead get thee the fuck out of here now because SPOILERS.  Also, because GO WATCH IT.

My husband thinks I’m a freak because I want to talk about the show while I’m watching it, watch The Talking Dead immediately after, think about the episode and talk about the episode every time I get the chance.  This is the fundamental difference between the two of us and what makes me a geek and him not.

How is it that we’re already to the season finale?  I cannot abide these cable station seasons.  I had a hard enough time with the way things used to be, suffering through entire summers aching to know who fell off what cliff.  But living through that feeling three or four times a year is emotionally flaying my tender nerves.  The only way to endure is to obsess and to share that obsession with others.  As luck would have it I got to geek out via text with my sister from another mister which alleviated some of the geek pressure.  Thank the sweet lady internet we always have access to someone who is as big of a freak as we are.

This is me watching TWD:

They’re not really going to give Michonne to the Governor, right?

They’re not gonna.

I really don’t think they’re gonna.

Are they gonna?

No way are they gonna.

Wait, is Merle taking her?

What is he doing?

Is he going to give her to him?

Where is going?

Is he gonna die?

No way are they killing Merle.

I do not want them to kill Merle.

Are they gonna kill Merle?

They’re gonna kill him.

Damn.

So long, brother.  I knew you had it in you.

What a rough epi.  I should have known from Rick getting all deep on Merle and Merle answering back after serious consideration that things were headed in a decidedly unhappy direction.  But I wasn’t sure about anything except that Merle was going to redeem himself one way or another.  It was pretty badass that he went out in spectacularly Merle fashion – a few belts of whiskey in him, acting completely on impulse and brave as fuck in a completely cavalier way.

I’m more than sorry to see Merle go.  I think the dynamic between the Dixon brothers was multi-layered and interesting and could have provided years of fodder.  But way to kick some Governor-loving ass,  dude.  And you would have taken the big man out too if not for that weasly little fucker, Ben.  At least you got him.  In the face.  Respect.

That end scene when Daryl locked his smoldering gaze upon the alien zombie eyes of Zombie Merle was killer.  From the way Zombie Merle contemplated him, for a second I almost felt confirmation of Milton’s belief that the human spark remains somewhere amid the ruin of the zombie mind.  But, no.  The feeling of loss was palpable, that end to possibility and the snapping of that final tie to what once was.  You could feel Daryl stabbing the fuck out of the whole damn apocalyptic mess as he did Zombie Merle in.  All that rage at how things might have been and never would be.  Heart.  Broken.

The greatest thing about this episode was the ending of the Ricktatorship.  It’s about fucking time that these people stop listening to Rick.  As a leader boyfriend be crazy, has the WORST instincts and has no follow through.  Carl shot his damn mom.  Nut up, Rick.  But maybe now that it’s a communist commune, he can return to the Rick of old.  Slightly sanctimonious, never straying from what’s right, stand up kind of guy.  Old reliable.

Is anyone else watching this episode and wondering how the fuck Andrea is doing all chained up to that chair in the Governor’s torture dungeon?  I mean she’s annoying as they come, the Kate from Lost of the show, but I don’t want her to suffer.  How is she getting out of this one?  Has to be Milton, right?  Poor girl has to sit there until next week.

And after next week, this poor girl has to sit there until next season.  Praise be to the sweet lady internet for streaming Netflix.

Trifextra Week Sixty challenge:

This weekend, we are revisiting a prompt we’ve done before.  We are giving you three words and asking that you add another 33 to them to make a complete 36-word response.  You may use the words in any order you choose.  Our three words are: remember, rain and rebellion. Now give us yours.

 

I remember

rebellion.

Always at the tip of my tongue, sharp bite beneath bark.

Molten, febrile, brilliant as youth believes itself to be.

The rain flutters, quivers, ripples; persistent as waves on sand.

The years appease.

Top Ten Tuesday has a new hostess with the mostess, Angie from Many Little Blessings.  Link ‘em if you got ‘em and check out the other fanfreakingtastic lists while you’re at it.  Let’s get started.

One of my badass Band ladies, Carol Anne, commented that she’d like to hear about the YouTube series I subscribe to which I had referenced in another post about my love for and disgust with teevee.  Which made my geeky heart go pitter patter because zomgswtfbbq I can return to my TTT roots and get all list-y.  Let’s get it on.

10.  WIGS - Christine –  WIGS is a YouTube channel that offers scripted programming with women leads.  There are quite a few ongoing series as well as some short films.  They feature some kickass actors – Maury Tierney, Jena Malone, Rosanna Arquette.  Christine hooked me.  It stars America Ferrera who’s, duh, awesome.  It follows her experiences speed dating and is really well done and often thought provoking.

Check it out.  It’s commercial free, quality entertainment that doesn’t require a big time commitment.

9.  Save the Supers –  This show is ridiculously silly.  It’s also subversive and awesome.  And written by Guildie Sandeep Parikh (swoon).  It’s about a group of off brand superheroes struggling to make a living in this down economy.  Expect brightly colored spandex, riffs on cheesy stereotypes and comedy gold, baby.

8.  The Nerdist -  Nerdist Channel is home to a bevy of super rad nerd bait such as Awkward Family Photos, Ain’t it Cool, Talking Dead BONUS! and my favorite, The Nerdist which is a nerdgasmic talk show featuring other nerds, things nerds love and nerd related issues and or products and entertainment.  Chris Hardwick is like, the cutest skinny nerd ever in his suit and with his awesome powers of sarcastic humor, geeking out over nerd stuff and being smart and well spoken and shit.  You can watch entire episodes of The Nerdist on the BBC America channel, but you can get all kinds of silly goodness right there on your YouTuber any hour of the day or night.

7.  Fresh Hell -  Brent Spiner plays a version of himself in a world where he done someone wrong  on an apocalyptic (to his career) level.  We never find out what exactly he did to raise the ire of the entire nation, but it must have been bad because he is almost universally loathed.  He pairs up with a wannabe porn star to revamp his image and revive his career.

It’s weird and it’s funny and it had potential to grow into something even more of those things.  The second season was far better scripted and produced than the first so I have great hopes for the next one.  I love me some Star Trek and I love me some Data so having Spiner back on the scene is pretty cool for this geek girl.

6. Words With Girls –  These lesbians be funny.  I have rainbow Harted Hannah for quite some time and am feeling the same sparkly love for the creator of this silly little show, Brittani Nichols.  It’s another show about nothing and everything.  They talk about everything from hair to racism, slap a big, ole comedy bow on it and call it good.  And it is.  I hope another season is ordered.

5.  California On –  This crazy dude interviews Californians on rando topics in a not so veiled attempt to capitalize on the 15 minutes of fame impulse and see some ( . )( . ).  It’s NSFW, but neither is this fucking blog.  It’s also pretty freaking amusing.

4.  Tabletop – So three of my top four are from Geek & Sundry which is an entire channel filled to the brim with indie geek related wonder.  The channel was created by the brilliant and luminous elven goddess of the geeks, Felicia Day.  Pretty any much found on this channel is solid gold and that fly lady can do no wrong in my eyes(she was on Buffy, Supernatural, Dr. Horrible, Eureka and The Guild for sweet lady internet’s sake).

Tabletop is hosted by the equally fly Wil Wheaton of King of the Internet fame.  He plays tabletop games with his geeky celeb friends.  Sound hella boring?  It somehow is really not, even to non-gamers like me.  WW is funny and relatable and so are his guest.  It’s interesting to see the games played and brings the focus off of the screen and onto the camaraderie and good, old-fashioned fun.  It’s a bit like Wild Kingdom, as you get to observe nerds in their natural habitat relating to others of their kind.

3.  The Flog –  Another show on Geek & Sundry, this one belongs to the winsome Ms. Day.  It’s a video blog where she recommends geekish things or does something random, sometimes with other celebrities.  She’s cuter than a bug’s ass and a charming little bundle of ADHD.  J’aime.

2.  My Drunk Kitchen –  If you haven’t seen Hannah Hart’s drunk cooking, I don’t know who you are.  HH is HIGHlarious and totally whimsical.  She reminds me of Ellen and not because she’s a lesbian.  Ok, ok, not ONLY because of that.  She shares the same zany humor that stays away from making fun of anyone.  Other than herself.  Obvi.  Subscribe now, you will not regret it.

1.  The Guild –  I cannot truly explain my deep and abiding adoration for every one of  the Knights of Good.  Somehow I didn’t know about this show until seasons 1-4 were available on Netflix.  Obviously I watched them all in an evening.  Which is not as difficult to accomplish with webisodes as they are typically less than 10 minutes per.  I fell hard for this show, as did the rest of the geek/nerd population of the internet (read: the internet).

It’s a scripted show about a group of online gamers that surrender their actual existences over to the game.  They meet by happenstance and form an awkward, socially inept group IRL as well as in the game.  It depicts the diversity found in gamers today and shows that not every gamer spends his life sucking down Mountain Dew in his mama’s basement while exceeding the bandwidth of his pirated internet host through 23 hours a day of WOW.  It’s also wacky and wicked funny.  Watch this shit.  Subscribe.  Give Felicia Day all your dolla bills.  Who run the world?  That girl.  Or she’s gonna, anyway.

That’s my list.  I got ten minute chunks of time to burn, what you got?

My lovely friend, From Tracie, did this old style bloggy thang a week or so ago.  I meant to do it, like every other thing on my list, but got bogged down by the man(Ole Dirty D, that wily fuck).  Then another lovely, Tia, did it and I was like, oh snap, best be hopping on that train before it leaves the station.  All aboard, y’all.

1. What were you doing 10 Years Ago?

Ten years ago I was living in Brooklyn, NY, working as an adoption caseworker in the foster care system and going to school at NYU for my MSW.  I was also doing a lot of crying, moaning and wailing about how fucking tired I was and how much I had to do.  Now I’m a mom.  I laugh in the face of the tired of ten years ago.

2. What 5 things are on your to do list?

1. Order a ATT booster because our cell service is shite in our house
2. Workout because I ate not one, but two, batches of cake batter muddy buddies this weekend
3. Write something for the Argus
4. Laundry.  Always with the motherfucking laundry.
5. Pack up the no longer age appropriate toys.  I am a toy hoarder.  You never know when you’re gonna need nesting cups or 352 matchbox cars.

3. What are 5 snacks you enjoy?

1. Cake batter muddy buddies.  Seriously.  If you make them you will love and loathe me for life.  Use Wilton candy melts in place of white chocolate.  White chocolate is not chocolate.
2. Cadbury mini eggs.  This shit is unrivaled.
3. Russell Stover Red Velvet Eggs.  I require a case.
4. Brach’s butterscotch disks.  My Weight Watchers standby.  Three disks per point.  It’s old timey.  Like me.
5. Western Bagel’s Alternative Bagel in Roasted Onion and Eating Right’s garlic yummus hummus.  That’s a one point bagel, y’all.  In mah mouth.

4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire

Jesus fuck, all the things.

Buy a house with a yard and have playdates and theme parties every month.

This guy.

Pay off my reedonkulous student loans.

Buy my husband some super phat car and a home monitoring system ala Howard Hughes.

Send a camera crew and a sloth to Kristen Bell’s house.

Bali.  Fucking Bali.

5. Name some places you have lived

1. Rehab
2. Psychiatric hospital
3. Idaho
4. A kitchen.
5. The Biggest Loser ranch.

6. Name some bad habits you have

1. I am a horrible interrupter.  It’s so embarrassing.  I think I talk to actual people so rarely that I’m like a word volcano once I get started.
2. I eat too much sugar.  Like so much.
3. Procrastinator extraordinaire.
4. Toy hoarder

7. Name some jobs you have had 

1. Telemarketer
2. Dancer.  For money.
3. Foster care caseworker in Brooknam
4. Play therapist
5. Nanny

Time to stir up a little dance action.  Who’s in?

I was driving home from my last science class EVER a few months back (can a get a hallefucklujah and an amen, brother) behind a car with the license plate FAWKES.  This made me all happy in the pants and various other appendage encasing garments.  I was all like, rock on with your bad self, nerd.  I wished my license plate read CODEX so he would know that I was down and that we were kindred.

And then I realized that I was a geek stranded in a world full of norms.

But never have I felt like such a lonely little camper as I have this past week.  A week full of celebratory geek gatherings for which I had no partner in crime.  Er, crime fighting.  Portland hosted their first big comic con (chill out supernerds, I know there have been others, but none such as this) and let me just rattle off a few of the guests.  Norman Reedus and Michael Rooker.  And by that I mean DARYL and MERLE from THE WALKING DEAD.  Which happens to be my FAVORITE SHOW and FAVORITE CHARACTER.  Ok, I’ll stop shouting, but that generates some heat up in hurr.  But wait, there’s more.  Stan Lee, Bruce Campbell, BRENT SPINER and James Marsters (SPIKE.  Swoon.).

But a girl can’t go to a comic con on her own, y’all.  At least not this girl.  What with the anxiety and the depression and the general sense of self -loathing, I would have spent the entire day hyperventilating in the bathroom and hating myself for lacking the nuts to gush and gawk with my fellow fanpeeps.  And 35 dolla bills is a lot of money for a self-flagellating bathroom hang.  I mean, I already have four bathrooms and a flat lining self-esteem.  And  don’t have to pay for parking.  Win.

So I didn’t go and it’s sort of cool because there has been a whole lot of hubbub about the pretty cheesedick move of the interloping newb, Wizard World, scheduling their con the week prior to the established Emerald City con in Seattle.  I think there are more than enough geeks in the Pacific Northwest to handle two conventions, but within a week of each other?  I know I’m not driving 3 1/2 hours to hang with another gang of sweaty nerds in cosplay.

But, oh wait, what’s that you say?  Scully, Castiel, Wil Wheaton, Felicia motherfucking Day, SIR PATRICK STEWART?  Omg, omg, omg.  How much can I get for a gently used, unusually grumpy, red-headed pre-schooler?  Because I AM THERE.

Except.  No fellow nerd with whom to geek out about all the loves of my life.

Dr. Who.

Spaced.

The Guild.

Star Trek.

Comics.

Buffy.

BSG.

To top it off, last night the King of the Internets, Wil Wheaton, was at the Alberta Rose communing with the local nerds alongside Paul and Storm and the Doubleclicks.  Alas, they performed for one less lonely little nerd.  I took to the interwebbers to salve my fractured spirit.  And maybe yours as well.  Live long and prosper, y’all.

This is the kind of day(life?) it is, y’all.  A gray and rainy because, hello, Portland.  A day when communication seems fucked by the stars.  Poor Mercury, no one gives you the time of day until you go all retrograde.  A day when that pain in your left arm takes up all the space in yer brainpan until you realize that you worked out yesterday.  A day when you are of a “certain age”(read: old as fuck) when left arm pains are of legitimate concern.   A day when the words fierce and ferosh need to be pulled out of the Closet of Lame to force your tired bones to RALLY.

They may be neither fierce nor ferosh, but they are fanfuckingfun and it’s hard to be all Grumpy Cat when you’re dancing around in your underwear singing about what you really, really want.  All you music purists can SUCK IT.  Sometimes you just really need to zigazigAH.  And,as I learned last night from attending the bestie’s 32nd anniversary of her 10th bday, friendship really never does end.